If you take time to be aware of your current mental state and then deliberately alter it, you can force your brain into more balanced activities. Eventually, this de-stressing becomes automatic.
Various types of dysfunctional behavior are associated with a lack of balance in the use of different parts of our brains. So, for example, pathological eating is associated with the reptilian part of your brain (the brain stem). Narcissistic or overly dramatic behavior is associated with being stuck in the emotional (limbic) part of the brain. Overintellectualization is associated with being stuck in the part associated with higher intellectual functions (the neocortex).
We can stop ourselves from getting stuck by practicing self-awareness. In this way we can train our brains to give us greater sensory awareness, body awareness, and social awareness. This is generally referred to as mind over matter, the main principle behind cognitive behavioral therapy, a school of psychology that believes if we can change our thinking, we can change our behavior. Though it doesn’t always work for everyone, it’s a method I encourage. No matter what got you to the state you’re in, consciously changing the way you think about it can help solve the problem.
YOUR TURN
Who am I? What do I want? What is my purpose? Ask yourself each of these questions repeatedly and respond with whatever comes to mind.
You can write out your answers in a journal or notebook, or just say them to yourself. Don’t overthink; just answer the questions. It’s okay to repeat yourself, and it’s okay to say things that don’t make a lot of sense. Each question should be repeated for at least five or ten minutes. If you have someone available to work with, you can take turns where one person repeatedly asks the same question and the other person answers. Of course, if there are two people, the questions need to be rephrased: “Who are you?” “What do you want?” “What is your purpose?” (I might answer: I am a father, I am a husband; I want to finish my book, I want more time; my purpose is to teach, my purpose is to live. All of these are, for me, on a superficial level. Usually it takes a little while to come up with insightful rather than mundane answers. Do it! You might be surprised with what you come up with, and how it contributes to your achievement habit.)
The effect of this exercise is to get you to devote time to thinking deeply about the meaning of your life. What matters more than your specific answers is that you open yourself to these questions. Doing this exercise generally promotes relaxation, builds internal energy, and nurtures an increased sense of aliveness.
Similar benefits can be derived from other types of meditation. Experiment to see which works best for you. I rarely meditate in a formal manner; instead I do things that are meditative. I take walks. I ride my bike. I make time to be alone in nature when I need to quiet my mind. Another thing that works for some people is repetitive activities that require little focus. Knitting, crocheting, gardening, and doodling can all be meditative. Or make it even simpler! If you’re feeling scattered, you can just take a few minutes to be still and focus on your breathing. Be mindful of each breath: in and out, in and out. Try to make your exhalation last twice as long as your inhalation. Pay attention to a fixed object around you—books, a picture on the wall; don’t analyze, just ground yourself. Ultimately you will benefit from increased concentration, decreased anxiety, and a general feeling of happiness.
Various types of dysfunctional behavior are associated with a lack of balance in the use of different parts of our brains. So, for example, pathological eating is associated with the reptilian part of your brain (the brain stem). Narcissistic or overly dramatic behavior is associated with being stuck in the emotional (limbic) part of the brain. Overintellectualization is associated with being stuck in the part associated with higher intellectual functions (the neocortex).
We can stop ourselves from getting stuck by practicing self-awareness. In this way we can train our brains to give us greater sensory awareness, body awareness, and social awareness. This is generally referred to as mind over matter, the main principle behind cognitive behavioral therapy, a school of psychology that believes if we can change our thinking, we can change our behavior. Though it doesn’t always work for everyone, it’s a method I encourage. No matter what got you to the state you’re in, consciously changing the way you think about it can help solve the problem.
YOUR TURN
Who am I? What do I want? What is my purpose? Ask yourself each of these questions repeatedly and respond with whatever comes to mind.
You can write out your answers in a journal or notebook, or just say them to yourself. Don’t overthink; just answer the questions. It’s okay to repeat yourself, and it’s okay to say things that don’t make a lot of sense. Each question should be repeated for at least five or ten minutes. If you have someone available to work with, you can take turns where one person repeatedly asks the same question and the other person answers. Of course, if there are two people, the questions need to be rephrased: “Who are you?” “What do you want?” “What is your purpose?” (I might answer: I am a father, I am a husband; I want to finish my book, I want more time; my purpose is to teach, my purpose is to live. All of these are, for me, on a superficial level. Usually it takes a little while to come up with insightful rather than mundane answers. Do it! You might be surprised with what you come up with, and how it contributes to your achievement habit.)
The effect of this exercise is to get you to devote time to thinking deeply about the meaning of your life. What matters more than your specific answers is that you open yourself to these questions. Doing this exercise generally promotes relaxation, builds internal energy, and nurtures an increased sense of aliveness.
Similar benefits can be derived from other types of meditation. Experiment to see which works best for you. I rarely meditate in a formal manner; instead I do things that are meditative. I take walks. I ride my bike. I make time to be alone in nature when I need to quiet my mind. Another thing that works for some people is repetitive activities that require little focus. Knitting, crocheting, gardening, and doodling can all be meditative. Or make it even simpler! If you’re feeling scattered, you can just take a few minutes to be still and focus on your breathing. Be mindful of each breath: in and out, in and out. Try to make your exhalation last twice as long as your inhalation. Pay attention to a fixed object around you—books, a picture on the wall; don’t analyze, just ground yourself. Ultimately you will benefit from increased concentration, decreased anxiety, and a general feeling of happiness.
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